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“I just returned from the Canadian Women in Aviation Conference,” says Kit Stardancer, an Air Traffic Controller at NAV CANADA, working out of the Toronto Area Control Centre (ACC). “What a mind-blowing adventure!”

Kit’s passion for aviation and aerospace is palpable (they even have a cat named Tarmac). “My love for aviation comes from my love of aerospace and space in general,” they explain. “From as young as four or five, when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would enthusiastically respond with ‘astrophysicist,’ leading me to attend university for space and communication science in hopes of joining the Canadian astronaut program.” 

A few things occurred during Kit’s adolescence that would dramatically impact their life and career trajectory. It began in 1998, when at the age of 17, Kit came out as transgender to their mom, who was unequivocally supportive. When they sought professional support, however, they were dismissed and denied gender affirming care. Kit was confused and felt alone, having faced much humiliation from a medical system designed to treat transgender and gender non-conforming people as “disordered”.

“In the 90s the only exposure I had to transgender people was as the butt of jokes and the source of ridicule — objects to be bullied — so of course I didn’t feel safe coming out socially,” they explain. Bullying had been the norm in Kit’s life and those feelings of rejection were only made worse when the professional mental health community accused them of not knowing who they really were.  

“I became severely depressed,” Kit recalls. “I was unable to complete my university degree. I dealt with gender dysphoria for a long time and was stuck living two lives and trying to be someone I wasn’t.” Had their request for care had been accepted, things might have looked a lot different.

Today, more than 20 years later, Kit is finally living with joy. They are brave and earnest when sharing their story, though it’s not an easy one to tell. Kit has beautiful long hair that’s been dyed pink and blue, a radiant smile, and a vibrancy that can be felt even through a Microsoft Teams meeting. Kit is a transfemme demigirl (a non-binary, feminine aligned gender identity) who uses pronouns they/them and she/her, but prefers the former in professional environments and in writing.

Having lived through so much, Kit is committed to being a beacon of light for those who are still living in darkness, creating an inclusive workplace so their colleagues feel safe. “I’m loud and I’m visible and there are people who see me and my hair and my trans flag lanyard, and they feel safe because of it. People come up to me all the time, who are not out, and thank me for being visible. This brings me so much joy because I needed that in my own life. I needed that when I was young, and I didn’t have it.” 

However, getting to a point of living authentically took years and was not an easy road. Kit only recently returned to work at the Toronto ACC after a four-and-a-half-year leave of absence following the loss of their spouse of 13 years. “While I was off work, my father also passed away, it’s been a lot,” Kit says. Reeling from the loss, Kit went in search of healing and, with the support of NAV CANADA, was enrolled in an inpatient mental health and rehabilitation program in Victoria, BC. 

“The staff at that centre were attentive and inclusive, so when I showed up to treatment with so much grief, shame, and guilt, they helped me to accept that my needs mattered and encouraged me to express myself authentically. It was here, that I first felt safe asking for my pronouns to be respected and where I tried out my new name. Seeing ‘Kit’ on a printed schedule for the first time felt so nice.”

In that welcoming and supportive environment Kit was finally able to come out and begin their transition so that, once they were ready, they could return to work authentically with a gender expression and presentation that matched their spirit. “I hope,” Kit reflects, “that sharing honestly about my experience with mental health care can show people how important it is. The right care at the right time can change a life for the better and I wish I’d had access to the right care all those years ago.”

Since returning to work, Kit joined the NAV CANADA 2SLGBTQIA+ Employee Resource Group (ERG), an inclusive community in which members can connect and relate to one another through similar lived experiences. “A common thread within the group is that we all felt pretty alone before the group was implemented," Kit says. “We are a vibrant and diverse group of people from all parts of the company, and we have a lot to offer as individuals and a collective. Our work is just the beginning.”

The focus of the ERG, thus far, has been to use the voices of 2SLGBTQIA+ employees to enable inclusivity in the workplace and to advocate for stronger tangible commitments toward supporting the lives of marginalized people within the organization.

Allyship is a big focus at NAV CANADA. “From my perspective, an ally is someone willing to do the work,” Kit says. “Having someone step in on my behalf to correct pronoun use, that’s allyship. Choosing consciously to not support organizations and people who are publicly anti-LGBTQ, that’s allyship. And, speaking out against bigotry rather than being a bystander, that’s allyship. We need more people getting in the face of those who are expressing hateful, harmful things.” 

Kit realizes that while they shouldn't have needed permission from others to come out, they definitely felt like they did. “Recognize that the person standing beside you might be a member of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community and are not out yet, maybe because it doesn't feel safe to do so.”